Does Hitting The Open Road Feel Harder?
Published by Knight Pierce Hirst in Humor, 3 months 2 weeks 5 hours 30 minutes 31 seconds ago
On road trips my husband and I share the driving. When John is driving, I fantasize about being one with the land we're driving through. Acre after acre of farmland makes me yearn for a healthier lifestyle - free from the pollution and overpopulation of city life. However, when I start talking about the joy of growing my own pesticide-free fruits and vegetables, John reminds me I'm gardening-challenged. Okay, it doesn't take a green thumb to point out the only thing I grow well is older.
Sharing my life with John might be enough of a challenge. Recently when my car needed major repairs, we thought we could share his car for a couple of weeks. Why not, we'd shared a car for the first few years of our marriage. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten that we had young children for those first few years and I didn't go anywhere. We soon discovered sharing one car required major compromise because a car with one big wheel doesn't drive well.
When I'm driving on the open road I suffer from a driving disability - heavy-foot syndrome. To compensate for this, I make sure there's a car going faster than I am. This is my tortoise and the hare strategy. Although sporty, red hares are easier for police to spot, anything going faster will do. The goal is to avoid my being the hare today and gone tomorrow.
Another goal is to find inexpensive gas. At Circle K in Phoenix gas was $4.09 a gallon. At Circle K in Tucson - 120 miles south - it was $3.82 a gallon. Because Tucson doesn't have air pollution, the federal government doesn't require it to sell CBG - clean burning gas. Tucson sells the cheapest gas, which is blended with 10% ethanol to increase octane and the ethanol is subsidized by the federal government. Obviously, it costs less in Tucson to be driven crazy by the federal government. Wherever you travel road rage can be a problem. A study done by Colorado University shows that drivers of cars with bumper stickers are 16% more likely to engage in road rage. The researchers think the connection between bumper stickers and road rage is an atavistic need to mark and protect territory, but drivers with "I Break For Unicorns" bumper stickers aren't safer than drivers with "Peace Through Superior Firepower" bumper stickers. In fact, they're more likely to give you the - horn.
Sharing my life with John might be enough of a challenge. Recently when my car needed major repairs, we thought we could share his car for a couple of weeks. Why not, we'd shared a car for the first few years of our marriage. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten that we had young children for those first few years and I didn't go anywhere. We soon discovered sharing one car required major compromise because a car with one big wheel doesn't drive well.
When I'm driving on the open road I suffer from a driving disability - heavy-foot syndrome. To compensate for this, I make sure there's a car going faster than I am. This is my tortoise and the hare strategy. Although sporty, red hares are easier for police to spot, anything going faster will do. The goal is to avoid my being the hare today and gone tomorrow.
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Another goal is to find inexpensive gas. At Circle K in Phoenix gas was $4.09 a gallon. At Circle K in Tucson - 120 miles south - it was $3.82 a gallon. Because Tucson doesn't have air pollution, the federal government doesn't require it to sell CBG - clean burning gas. Tucson sells the cheapest gas, which is blended with 10% ethanol to increase octane and the ethanol is subsidized by the federal government. Obviously, it costs less in Tucson to be driven crazy by the federal government. Wherever you travel road rage can be a problem. A study done by Colorado University shows that drivers of cars with bumper stickers are 16% more likely to engage in road rage. The researchers think the connection between bumper stickers and road rage is an atavistic need to mark and protect territory, but drivers with "I Break For Unicorns" bumper stickers aren't safer than drivers with "Peace Through Superior Firepower" bumper stickers. In fact, they're more likely to give you the - horn.
About Knight Pierce Hirst
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
Take a minute to make yourself smile at
http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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